


One step forward, two steps back

by PerriewinkleNerdie



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22992799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerriewinkleNerdie/pseuds/PerriewinkleNerdie
Summary: It seemed as though no matter what, they were bound to get hurt
Relationships: Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	One step forward, two steps back

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, hello, hello!  
> OPEN HEART IS BACK! CAN YOU HEAR ME CRYING  
> That chapter killed me and filled me with so much ideas and will to write that... damn, PB, well done.  
> It's the first diamond scene with a bit (a lot) of changes and it's from Ethan's perspective cause that's what I do I guess.  
> Enjoy! <3

He could list about five reasons for which he went to Donahue’s that night. All of which were irrelevant, and he knew it damn well. He just came back, he should be sleeping, he should be home with his dog. He should be staying away from Edenbrook.

He should be staying away from her.

Lying would get him nowhere. If he didn’t believe himself, why should anyone else? People that didn’t know him thought it was very noble of him to sacrifice two months of his life to help people in the Amazon, and he would only nod slightly to avoid talking, because he knew that the second he opened his mouth, truth would fly out. Deep down, in the middle of the night when he was alone with himself and his thoughts, he knew that the only reason he went away, the only reason he decided to help all those people, as bad as it sounded, was to put as much distance between Claire and himself as he could. It wasn’t noble. It wasn’t admirable. It was cowardice that led him to his decision, and he felt ashamed.

Reggie looked surprised only for a split second upon seeing him walking through the door, but that was substituted with a wide grin as he greeted his old friend. Ethan couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but there was something unusually smug in the way his friend was smiling at him. Like he knew something Ethan didn’t and he was impossibly proud of that.

“You have that weird glint in your eye and I’m pretty sure you’re up to something.” He searched Reggie’s face for any crack that would reveal what was happening, but he gave away nothing.

“You’ve been away from civilization for too long and you’re seeing things, Ramsey.” He cackled, slapping his hand against Ethan’s shoulder blade, then went back behind the bar. “The weather is nice, you should sit outside.”

He followed the advice, sinking back into his own mind. He did that quite often lately, an escape from the horrific images that would haunt him for years to come. The only problem was, the second he closed his eyes to take a deep breath and ground himself with something, _she_ was there. He ran away to forget about the feelings that swelled in his chest, that threatened to overflow and drown him, and yet every time he paid attention to his thoughts, she came right back to him. He got better at ignoring her over the weeks, and now, he only thought of her a couple of times during the day, save it for the countless nights with her as the main character in his dreams.

He wondered, from time to time, if he would ever get over her. If he would ever leave behind the pull that he felt every time he so much as thought of her. If he would ever forget the feeling of her lips against his. Forget the feeling of her body pressed against him, wrapped around him, moving against him. Her laugh rang in his ears, her voice followed him wherever he went, and he was ready for the torture to be over and not able to get enough of her at the same time.

It was late in the night, and the bar wasn’t as packed as he expected. People talked, music flew from the speakers and the air was significantly colder than he remembered it to be before he left Boston. The moment he took a step outside into the beer garden, he knew why Reggie was so smug. The reason was right there.

He heard her. He saw her.

Hushed voices flew in the air and suddenly five pairs of eyes were locked on him, observing him with curiosity in most cases. Only one pair of eyes was different. The green filled with surprise, confusion and underlying pain that he knew damn well he caused and that stung him more than he expected.

He knew this would happen eventually. Sooner or later, he would come face to face with her and would have to see how much his plan worked. In an ideal world, he would be cured of her and would be able to work with her like two colleagues that they were. But this wasn’t a perfect world, and they were only people.

And he still gave a damn about her.

The only way to the other side of the bar was to pass by their table, and he knew he had to at least greet her, even if only to keep appearances up. Nothing was amiss, nothing was wrong, just a bunch of Doctors that had a free evening and ran into each other.

Which was very obviously a lie and everyone, including Ethan, knew that. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try.

Their eyes meet for the first time in two months and he knows, right in that moment, that he’s still a goner. He’s still so tangled with her, so lost in her that the chances of saving him were slim and getting smaller every moment that passed. He could feel his throat closing, breathing got hard and the back of his eyes stung when he realized that he might as well fall apart right there, in front of everybody. He had to get this over with and get away from people. Try to get away from her.

Again.

Clearing his throat to at least try to regain some control over his voice, he hesitated before speaking. “… Rookie.”

Her eyes flash with familiarity and her lips curl into the smile that knows so well. His heartbeat accelerated like it always did, and, like always, it drove him mad. “It’s good to have you back, Dr. Ramsey.”

She probably didn’t mean to poke him with his title, to remind him what their situation was. She _definitely_ wasn’t aware of why he went away, and why he dreaded coming back almost as much as he anticipated seeing her again, despite how much he tried to deny it. Her face didn’t give anything away, but he knew her well enough to notice a shadow pass her eyes, revealing that she caught onto something in him that didn’t add up.

“Yeah… good to be back.” He muttered, his gaze still locked with hers, even though he knew he should severe the eye contact before it gets suspicious. Hesitation takes over his mind as he argues with himself. Finally, he shakes his head slightly, blinks twice and breathes deeply. “Doctors. Enjoy your night.”

Leaving the group behind, leaving Claire behind, he walked back to Reggie, his expression fixed into a careful scowl. He saw him and as soon as he connected the dots, he started laughing. Ethan fell into the seat by the bar, his fingers drumming against the flat surface restlessly.

“She really got you, that Claire of yours.” Reggie mused, stating the fact rather than asking, and one look at his friend confirmed it.

“She’s not my Claire… she’s not _mine_.” he clarified, and it nearly broke him. His friend nodded, then grinned at him again.

“Oh, I know. But wouldn’t you like her to be.”

“I-“ he trailed off, nursing the drink that Reggie placed in front of him, opting for talking with him instead. There was too much to unpack, too much to explain when it came to Claire, so the prospect of a simple, not complicated conversation seemed like heaven to him.

Further down the bar, he saw Dr. Thorne. He saw enough to know that the man was a scumbag that didn’t deserve to be touched with a stick, but he was a good doctor, and while he didn’t agree with him outside of the hospital, in the work environment, he had to endure his presence. It seemed as though he found himself a new victim that night, because the girl he was talking to looked uncomfortable and, if he had to guess, was getting angry with every word that Garrett spoke and that Ethan couldn’t hear. His hand touched her back and suddenly she grabbed it and slammed it onto the bar, the crack resounding in the air. A scream followed and the plastic surgeon shoved her onto the ground, the sound of the glass breaking reaching his ears. Ethan shot up to go help the girl, when a blonde woman stepped between them, holding her hands up to shield herself from any incoming punches.

“Hey! Easy!” she spoke up, loud and clear, her voice steady. Claire looked at Dr. Thorne like she was about to murder that man on the spot, and Ethan didn’t like how his mind reacted when he realized how close to getting punched she got. He started walking towards the commotion, more and more words reaching his ears.

“… charges! Do you know how much I’m going to sue that bitch for?” he exclaimed, waving his good hand around.

“Garrett. That’s enough.” He heard his own voice, seething with anger, dangerously low. Claire’s eyes shot straight to him, surprise flashing in them, followed by a tender sliver that warmed the green of her irises. He turned away from her and scowled at their colleague, his hands curling into fists. “You still got one good hand, don’t you? Put it to good use and call yourself a cab.”

“I don’t give a shit what you think, Ramsey. You think you can tell me what to do? You get lost, come back and think you call the shots around here?” Garrett sneered, spiting the words in Ethan’s face. He had to stop his hand that itched to punch some sense into his thick skull. In his peripheral vision he could see Claire grabbing grain alcohol and a clean rag, then running out the door to chase the girl.

“If you think you can be an asshole cause you have lines of people that give their faces into your hands, think again. I don’t care what goes on in that stuck-up head of yours, you acting like a scumbag doesn’t do right by me.” Ethan kept his voice low, fully aware of all the other doctors that they both worked with, now having their attention focused on the two of them. “Get your things and call yourself a cab before I decide I no longer care and take care of you myself.”

“I’m so scared of you I’m about to cry. As I said, I don’t give a shit what you say. You can boss around that bitch of yours but I’m not your lapdog, Ramsey.” Garrett sneered, a cruel smirk crossing his features. Ethan felt his blood boil as he heard him disrespect Claire and it took all his self-control not to beat him till he was black and blue. He did the next right thing, grabbing him by the lapel of his jacket and dragging him outside. He waved down a cab, his grip on the man vicelike.

“You’re so disgusting, I’m not even going to dignify you with a response. You treat women like trash, you’ll be lucky if no one presses charges.” He opened the door of the car, threw him in and sent him off with a look of disgust. “Get your shit together.”

He slammed the door, putting a barrier between him and Garrett, and finally taking a breath. He never liked the man, and now all he felt when he looked at him was utter disgust. He walked back in and saw Claire already inside, explaining the situation to her friends. His gaze lingered on her for only a moment before he walked to the bar and took a seat. He could very dimly hear Reggie calling out to his customers that he was about to close and that they needed to leave.

“What? Last call doesn’t apply to you?” he heard her voice, calling out to him from the other side of the bar. He let the silence ring between them for a split second before answering, keeping his eyes on the glass in his hand.

“Reggie and I go way back. We have an arrangement.”

“An arrangement? Is that what you call a friendship?” her voice was filled with warmth and he didn’t have to look at her to know that she was smiling. He allowed himself to smile too.

“I don’t have friends. But…” he didn’t think his next words through. “… I wouldn’t mind you joining me if you were so inclined.”

He _definitely_ didn’t think this through.

He let his guard down and he was sure that there would be hell to pay. What was he even thinking? He should be staying away from her, not drawing her in.

She told her friends she would stay behind and talk to him about tomorrow. And he was sure she meant that, just not in a way that was safe for both of them. It sounded simple, and yet it had danger written all over it, because there was no way of knowing how much his self-control could take before he breaks again. He felt her more than he saw her, sitting down in a seat next to him by the bar.

“Rook- er, Claire. Sorry. Force of habit.” He bit his tongue, the nickname lighting a familiar warmth in his chest before he realized that she’s not a Rookie anymore. She’s a resident now. His colleague. And he is her boss.

They were so screwed.

She ran her eyes along the lines of his body, taking in his new clothes, nodding her head towards the jacket. “We’ve got ourselves a brand new Ethan Ramsey.”

“This jacket’s been through a lot with me.” he mused, running his thumb along the seam of his sleeve.

“I have to say, that jacket is nice. It’s good to see a more laid-back side of you. You seem more… relaxed. You can mix it up with that sweater of yours. I liked it, it was soft to touch…” she trailed off, biting her lip as she looked down, the meaning obvious and clear. He cleared his throat, shaking his head.

“Duly noted. And the beard?” he probed her for answers, subconsciously trying to find out what she preferred. He realized what he was doing only after he asked the second question, and he could hope that she didn’t catch onto that, but her smirk was enough to tell him that she knew. And she enjoyed it.

“It’s a bit too long, but I like it.” she mused, her fingers flying to his jaw and tracing the line of it with the tips of her fingers. Her nails scraped against his skin slightly and the shiver that ran all over his body almost ended him, right then and there.

“I’ve gotten used to it. I can trim it, I suppose.” He wondered out loud and she grinned, her cheeks rising. They watched as the last of people left the bar, leaving only them and Reggie. Ethan looked around them, and then turned to her with an idea.

“Why don’t we move outside? It’ll be winter before we know it. Might as well enjoy the weather while we can. Want something to drink?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.” She nodded towards his glass and he grinned, the situation bringing back the memories.

He reached over the bar, grabbing the half-drunk bottle of scotch. Ethan called out to Reggie to let him know that they’re borrowing it. He knew his friend long enough to know that he wouldn’t mind.

Claire walked alongside him, both of them silent, taking in the peace and tranquility of the beer garden. He sat down by the fire pit, ensuring they were both warm, looking at the flames, climbing up in the air. She took a place next to him, their bodies pressed against one another slightly, just enough for them to feel each other’s heat. His breath caught in his throat, his pupils dilating as he felt the soft scent of her perfume.

“I can see why you like it here.” She muttered, watching the lights flicker above them. He grinned, knowing that his prediction was right and that she liked it too.

“Because nobody’s annoying me?”

“More or less. It’s peaceful.”

Silence covered them like a thick blanket, and maybe in the past he would find some comfort in it, but now, it felt suffocating. There once was a time when he was so comfortable with her that nothing else had ever felt this easy. Those times were behind them, but damn him, how he wanted to go back in time. 

“So. This Dr. Thorne guy. Should I be worried about him?” she asked, leaning onto the table to while looking at him. He knew why she asked. After the trial she went through last year, he expected her to be cautious. She learned her lesson the hard way, but then again, so did he. They were the same, in that and many more ways. That’s why he restrained himself from punching Thorne. Nash was a problem enough, and Garrett was the same type of an asshole. No matter how much he wanted to beat him up for what he said and did, he knew that he shouldn’t.

“He has some influence. Just stay out of his way for a couple of weeks and he’ll entirely forget who you are.” He advised, mirroring the way she rested her head on her palm, making their eyes meet.

“But not who you are. Should _you_ be worried?” she sounded almost like she was worried about him, and almost immediately he knew that she most likely thought it was her fault he had to get involved.

“I’ve worked too hard to get where I am to give a damn what someone like him thinks.” He scoffed, his blood boiling as he recalled what happened just thirty minutes ago. Knowing she had no way of knowing what went down, he moved on. “Don’t think twice about that asshole. What you did back there, helping that girl? You did the right thing. That’s all that matters.”

“We both know that’s not true.”

“Hrm. Well, it should be.” He stated, then felt a wave of pensiveness washed over him, making his entire body ache. “You’re too young to be a cynic like me.”

“I’m not being cynical. I just learned my lesson. You saw what happened last year. I almost lost my license for breaking the rules to help Mrs. Martinez.” Pain twisted her features, she curled her fingers inwards, digging her nails into her palms. He saw her do it multiple times in the past, but never saw it from up close, and now that he had her hands only inches from his own eyes, he could see crescent marks in a line across her palms. His hands itched to reach out to her, to run his fingers along her skin, to kiss her scars away, knowing painfully well that he couldn’t.

“The lesson there is that if you put patients first, you’ll always be vindicated in the end. _That’s_ the lesson. What you did just now was brave. You’ve always been brave in the face of the disaster and death, of course…” he trailed off, thinking back to how much death and pain she had to see and how much of a toll it took on her. “But it’s different when you’re facing down a superior. To stand up to them for what’s right.”

She smiled brightly, nudging him with her hand slightly. “It’s not as brave as venturing into the depths of the Amazon to fight an epidemic, that’s for sure.”

That felt like a knife, pushed into his chest up to the hilt, and when she smiled at him again, the knife got twisted. He knew damn well why he left, and it had nothing to do with bravery. She probably admired him for it, and he was about to shatter that image of himself in her eyes. Looking back down at his drink, he managed to choke out. “… That wasn’t bravery.”

Surrounded by the air that was getting colder by the minute and the country tune that flowed slowly from the jukebox, he could almost hear the gears turning in her head as she tried to decipher what he meant by that.

“Ethan…” she breathed shakily, sitting up straighter, trying to seem like she had it all together. She didn’t, he could see right through her. He recognized all the symptoms of falling apart, and he knew them so well because he’s been through it all. Actually, that was a lie.

For the past two months, his life has been nothing but a series of symptoms of longing and pain.

“Why didn’t keep in touch?” she only needed to ask one question, and he was no longer able to survive what was about to happen. She was hurt, she felt abandoned, and she wanted answers. Hoping she wouldn’t ask was stupid of him, he should have thought this through, should have thought about what to tell her, but maybe it was for the best. She deserved the truth, and truth was what she was going to get.

“No word from you at all for two months? After everything that happened between us?” her voice got smaller and smaller until it was nothing but a whisper. She was at her most vulnerable, scared to be hurt, even though she knew what was coming. They both did.

“Everything that happened between us is exactly why I didn’t contact you.” he admitted, trying to keep himself as steady as he could, but failed. His façade crumbled into a million pieces and it was futile to try and pick them up. “Claire, if we’re going to work together on the diagnostics team, we need a fresh start. Your professional development is too important to jeopardize it whatever…” his voice caught in his throat, his jaw impossibly tense. “… whatever it was that we had.”

“’Had’, past tense.”

“Yes. And the past is where it has to remain.” Ethan’s resolve was a sliver away from breaking and he was grasping at the strings, trying desperately to not let himself fall. To not pull her along with him. telling her that they couldn’t be together hurt him beyond belief, more than he ever thought could be possible. They were looking at each other, seeing right into each other’s souls, the moment stretching into eternity.

It seemed to him like it was a split-second decision when she dove forward and pressed her lips to his. Softly, gently, perfectly.

He felt the air being pushed out of his lungs, his body burning with flames so hot he felt like dying. And maybe he was. His muscles tensed, his whole form stiffed, and yet he tingled from his feet to the top of his head. Feeling him not reacting, she began leaning away, when he woke up, broke free from the confinements and reached for her like a drowning man.

His hands caught her waist gently, barely touching her as though he was afraid she would break if he squeezed too tightly. Afraid to come closer, but afraid to let her go. Scared to push her away, wanting to pull her in. His lips moved against hers slowly, his eyes falling shut once more. He couldn’t count how many times he dreamed of kissing her, of having her in his arms, and now that he did, he was torn.

She’s the one to lean away, looking into his eyes for any indication of what he wanted. He poured all the want, longing and pain into his gaze, seeing it reflected back at him in her green irises. “Dammit, Claire…”

He’s said that to her before, in a situation much like this one. He pulled her back to him then, kissed her like he wanted nothing more in the world than her. He still did. But their situation was more complicated now.

“If you don’t want to kiss me again, then just tell me-“ _he never wanted anything more. He probably never will._

“It has nothing to do with ‘want’. I can’t. And if I give a damn about you, I _won’t._ How am I supposed to push you to be everything you can be if I…”

There it was. Again. He didn’t know what he meant by that back in Miami, but he was a different man now. She was a different woman. They were a different couple. Now he knew, even if only deeply inside.

_If I care for you._

“If you what?” she asks, much like she did back on that night, and he still couldn’t bring himself to give her the answer. That much hasn’t changed. He knew that the moment he tells her she’s in his head and in his heart, she would never leave, and they couldn’t allow themselves that much freedom. Freedom to live, freedom to feel, freedom to _love._

He looked at her as though he could pass his thoughts to her through their eyes. How easy that would be, if he could just let her into his minds and let her see all that she was to him. His teeth gnaw at the corner of his lip, fighting with himself, struggling to look away from her until he succeeds. Hanging his head low, he burns his stare into his drink, praying that she understands.

“Okay, I get it. Goodnight, Dr. Ramsey.” She whispered, then turned to go. He watched her, gritting his teeth, pushing himself down into his seat, anchoring himself so he doesn’t jump and run after her. Once she disappears behind the door, he takes a swig of his drink, shaking his head somberly.

“You really are an idiot.” Reggie’s voice rang behind his back, his hand falling heavily onto his shoulder.

“I know.”

“You really should go after her.”

He didn’t say anything. He wanted to, _god,_ _he wanted to._ “After all that I told her, she would push me away. And I wouldn’t blame her.”

“She won’t push you away. You didn’t see her face when she walked out of the bar. _Follow her.”_

Ethan’s eyes locked with Reggie’s and he knew he was right. It was cold, knowing her she walked home and it was late. Against his better judgement, against what he decided and what he knew was right, he shot to his feet, threw a ‘goodbye’ to Reggie and ran, faster than ever before in his life.

He busted out of the bar onto the street, looking around to try and find her. Not that surprised that she was nowhere to be seen, he set off in the direction of her apartment, and eventually, he saw her, walking slowly. He called out for her and she stopped dead in her tracks, turning towards him slowly.

“Ethan? Is everything okay? You’re out of breath… you’re not being chased by a murderer, are you?” she ran her eyes over him, taking in his condition, the way his hair was swept to the back, the way his jacket was crooked and his chest moved up and down rapidly as he struggled to catch his breath.

“I’m… okay… I just...” he panted, taking a deep breath before looking at her again. “… I wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

Her eyebrow shot up in surprise, then melted gently into a sweet smile. “I’m fine… you can walk with me if you want to make sure I’m okay, though.”

He knew he shouldn’t, he knew he should just turn around and walk away, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. He almost reached out and took her hand, but instead opted for a smile that he could only hope came out as friendly. Her laugh rang in his ears.

“You’re still terrible at pretending.”

They walked and he asked questions. About the life at the hospital when he was gone. About Naveen’s recovery, which she supervised along with Harper while he was away. About his patients, some of which she had under her care.

“Mr. Dursi laughed when he saw me walk into his room. He just woke up and he was convinced that I was you. Kept muttering how he could swear that you were a man, but he didn’t really mind. It took me solid twenty minutes and a photo of you to convince him.” Claire recalled, laughing until she cried, drying her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“You must have had a hard time finding a photo of me.”

“Not really. I mean, I have a couple on my phone-“ she shrugged, then cut off in the middle of the sentence, knowing fully well that she had no way of going back on her words. “I- uh…”

“It’s okay, I have some photos of you too.” Ethan’s confession hung between them, settling into her mind. He would never admit that when his loneliness in the Amazon got too much for him and he was breaking, he looked at her. Despite what he tried to tell himself, despite how much he tried to extinguish his feelings for her, it seemed as though it was impossible.

A chilly breeze blew around them, biting into his flesh. He looked over to her, just in time to see her shiver. On instinct, he took his jacket off and stopped her, turning her towards him.

“Give me your hands.” He nudged her arms, pointing to his jacket. She shook her head, beginning to protest. “I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, Claire. You’re cold, I’ll be damned if I let you be cold.”

She held his stare, trying to determine if he was bluffing, but she knew he was serious. His look of certainty and resolve told her that if she didn’t allow him to help her put his jacket on, he would wrap her in it. With a heavy sigh, she put her arms through the sleeves and snuggled into the material, still warm from the heat of his body. Still smelling like him.

Ethan tried to make it seem like the sight of his clothes on her didn’t make him come undone, but the truth was, if he could, he would forbid her from wearing anything _but_ his clothes. It felt good, it felt right, and the thought of them maybe never having the comfort of being that close to each other again hurt his mind, body and soul.

Her apartment building came into the view much sooner than he would have liked. They could be just Claire and Ethan while their walk lasted, but the moment they say goodbye and he lets her go, they go back to square one. The only difference is, he already knows how it feels to have her, and it’s going to be a million times more difficult to pretend like he doesn’t. Their walk slowed to a stop and she turned to him, somber look on her face.

“That’s it I guess.” She muttered, looking up at the window of her apartment. Her friends must have been back already, they all had an early morning the following day. His eyes traced the lines of her face gently and he took a step towards her, placing his hand on her shoulder gently.

“It seems like it.”

Claire turned her body towards him and right into his unexpecting arms. Her grip on him began as a soothing breeze and gained intensity as seconds ticked by. He gathered her into his embrace, holding her closer than he had in months, and he felt his body relax. She was like a drug to him, and he was addicted. Her scent that he missed, that he familiarized with a sense of safety and home, her voice that could stop the biggest tempest in his mind. Her touch that lit up a fire in his veins, made him fell invincible. Just like he felt right now.

He took a step forward, she took a step back. And another. And another, until they reached the side of the building, hidden away from the street in an alleyway, lit only by a dim light. Her head rose slightly to look at him, their eyes met and not even a fracture of a second later, their lips were back on each other.

Claire took a deep breath upon the feel of the kiss, her knees suddenly too weak to hold her up. She gripped his shoulders, her nails scraping the skin at the base of his neck, making him tremble. The kiss was different from the one they shared earlier that evening. That one was cautious, almost empty, lacking the fire that he longed to feel again, that he wanted to get burned by.

This one was everything. It had the drive, it had the power, it had the intensity of a thousand lightnings, striking him at the same time. The hunger he felt could only be satiated by her, by her kisses, by her lingering touches, by the way she held him close. His hands slipped under the jacket that hung loosely from her shoulders, his fingers curling around her waist and pulling her impossibly closer.

She trailed her hand up his neck, tangling into his neck and pulling on the strands, eliciting a low growl in the back of his throat. His body pushed on hers, pressing her against the wall, letting his lips leave hers so he could assault the skin of her neck. She breathed heavily, pushing her other hand downwards and grasping the thin material of his shirt, her grasp so tight she could tear the fabric apart.

Ethan nipped at her collarbone, causing her to arch her back against him with a moan. “Go inside.” He breathed against her skin, his shoulders moving heavily beneath her persistent touch. Coming back to her lips, he kissed her again, harder, faster, the intensity kicking the air out of his lungs.

“What?” she panted, pulling him right back to her, her hands snaking down his back and digging into the back pockets of his jeans, pushing him onto her. He groaned helplessly, grabbing her face with his hands and pulling their faces as close as humanly possible.

“ _Go inside.”_ He bit her lower lip, pulling on it and then soothing it with his tongue, growling impatiently. She squeezed his backside with her hands, causing his breath to falter and his grip to loosen for a moment before he adjusted his hold on her.

“Why?” He dug his fingers into her back, a cry falling from her lips, both of them definitely louder than they should be. Leaning back to make their eyes meet, he let her see the desire, the lust that threatened to consume him at any moment.

“Because if you don’t, I’m going to rip your clothes off your body and take you, right here and right now.” he looked at her seriously, taking a moment to catch his breath. His body dove forward before stopping, barely inches away from her, his eyes dropping to her lips, watching them eagerly. “ _And god, don’t I want to.”_

“I want that too.” Claire confessed, retreating her hands back up his body and placing them along the sides of his face, mirroring his hold on her. The heat was gone, only tenderness and softness left. They caressed each other, eyes glossy and filled to the brim with emotions.

“I know. But we can’t. So, get inside.” It hurt him even more than the first time when he had to say that to her, and he could see her breaking a bit more with every breath she took. Unable to stop himself, he kissed her delicately, holding onto the moment for as long as he could before, at last, letting her go and taking a step back. She kept his gaze for just one moment more, then nodded and went back out onto the street, leaving Ethan alone in the darkness.


End file.
